What If
by MissLevinLover
Summary: Gwen's mind swarmed with questions. But on stood out from the rest 'What if i had never let him go'


_A/N: **Okay my fanfiction budddies! Here is some good old fashioned Gwevin. But unfortunatley it is not the fluffy kind. This is more dark Gwevin than fluffy but I hape you enjoy. I thought I would give it a try seeing as all I have been writing is Benlie fluff and went for a change in couple.**_

_**Disclaimer: All characters are owned by Man of Action and the song 'What If' is owned by Kate Winslet. I own nada**_

Gwendolyn Tennyson was perched up on the window sill looking over the city of Bellwood. A lot had changed over 20 years so much so that you would not have thought it was the same place. She had just come back for a 4 month mission from the planet Zachson, were she had to help rebuild the government and stop the civil war. She had to admit she was glad to be home, she had missed her her family and was extatic when a very excited Kenny came and almost tackled her to the ground in a ferocius hug. But it was short lived when Ben had told her about Kevin's escape.

_Here I stand alone  
>With this weight upon my heart<br>And it will not go away  
>In my head I keep on looking back<br>Right back to the start  
>Wondering what it was that made you change<em>

When she had heard that news her heart felt like someone had gripped it in a vice and was squeezing all the life out from her. She quickly excused herself and when to her bedroom and sat down were she had been for the past hour and half. She thought back to the time when they were teenagers. Everything had been so simpler back then. Figting aliens and balancing school and the almost daily trips to Mr Smoothy's.

She had to wonder what happened to make things change. Her and Kevin had been happy and in love. He understood her more than anyone else could and it was the same with her for him. He was a good guy, He fought the Highbreed and saved the world. He had sarificed his life countless times to make sure the world and the universe were safe. Yes he was still a bit rough round the edges but overall he was a caring and wonderful man. But what made him change and go back to his old ways?

_Well I tried  
>But I had to draw the line<br>And still this question keeps on spinning in my mind_

It had started off with little things like he would come home late or would go someplaces without telling her were he was going. But she had ignored it and written it off as typical Kevin behaviour. But then it got worse. He was becoming more distant and more violent. He would come home in a drunken rage and smash up the house before passing out on the couch. He was never home but the few times he did come home he wouldn't talk to her or even acknowlege her presence. He would sit up in his study making calls and writing stuff down before heading out again.

When she found out he was dealing illegal alien tech again she had enough and went and confonted him. The argument was still vivid in her mind.

"KEVIN! Why are you doing this? You have changed your a hero now! You promised me you would never do it again!" she screamed, she was close to tears but refused to let them fall

"Because I want to!" He shouted back anger bubbling inside his veins "I dont have to take orders from you! And I never promised you anything!"

"But what about us Kevin? I hardly see you anymore and when I do you are either drunk or don't even acknowledge im here! You said you loved me what has changed?" she spoke the last bit softly as the tears finally spilled from her dazzling emerald orbs an rolled down her cheek.

"Maybe I dont love you anymore Gwen" He said it with venom dripping with everyword "Because I dont fit into your perfect life and I never will! So do you know what? I'm through! I wont take anymore of your perfect life and all the rules and regulations!" with that he stormed out the house and got into his car and sped away. _  
><em>

_What if I had never let you go  
>Would you be the man I used to know<br>If I'd stayed  
>If you'd tried<br>If we could only turn back time  
>But I guess we'll never know<br>_

Thinking back Gwen wondered what would have happened, if she had stopped him walking out the door and out of her life. Would things be better? Would they still be together? Would he still be the man she loved and cherished, the man who no matter what the cost would always make sure she was safe even if it meant his own life? But she would never know. Because there was nothing she could do to change what had happened.

_Many roads to take  
>Some to joy<br>Some to heart-ache  
>Anyone can lose their way<br>And if I said that we could turn it back  
>Right back to the start<br>Would you take the chance and make the change  
><em>

Life hadn't been kind to Kevin, Gwen knew that. At first he went down the path of crime to get by. But it wasn't his fault he was so young and didn't know any different. But then he got older, and learnt from his mistakes.

Both her and Ben watched him change and grow. He went from ex-con to universal hero. He had changed so much from when he was a kid. But he started to slip again. He started to go back down the wrong road again, and soon he was to far down to be able to turn back. And Gwen watched as he slipped through her fingers. She watched as the man she loved slipped away back into the darkness. _  
><em>

_Do you think how it would have been sometimes  
>Do you pray that I'd never left your side<br>_

Did he regret what he did? Did he wish that like Gwen things could have been different and they could still be together? She didn't know. But she hoped he did. She hoped there was some of the man she fell in love with inside of Kevin, fighting to get free.

_What if I had never let you go  
>Would you be the man I used to know<br>If I'd stayed  
>If you'd tried<br>If we could only turn back time  
>But I guess we'll never know<em>

If only we could turn the hands of time  
>If I could take you back would you still be mine<p>

Gwen wished she could go back. Go back to the time were all that all that mattered was them. Nobody else, just them. Wrapped up in each others embrace, stealing silent glances and kisses when they thought Ben wasn't looking. But what if he got out of the null void? What if they got back together would things go back the way they were, would he still be the Kevin she remembered or was he too far gone to be able to recover?

_'Cos I tried  
>But I had to draw the line<br>And still this question keep on spinning in my mind_

What if I had never let you go  
>Would you be the man I used to know<br>What if I had never walked away  
>'Cos I still love you more than I can say<br>If I'd stayed  
>If you'd tried<br>If we could only turn back time  
>But I guess we'll never know<br>We'll never know

As she sat on the window sill and all those questions spun through her mind there was one thing Gwen couldn't deny. She still loved Kevin. So much so that even hearing his name made her heart yern for his sweet touch and sexy smile. But thise dreams would never come true because the man that had stolen her heart was gone. And she would never get him back, she lost him to the one thing she always feared she would lose him to.

The darkness. 

_**A/N: Okay there you go peeps :) I hoped you enjoyed and dont forget to review! They make my day :)**_

_**Sammyantha x x **_


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